The DMV isn't always so bad

"JGrabowMSt" (jgrabowmst) 03/21/2016 at 11:00 • Filed to: DMV, Best and Worst

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There may be places where Colorado isn’t the most laid back place to be.

The DMV is not known for how quickly it can move, or how polite the employees are. I’m just going to go ahead and say that there are exceptions to everything.

My day started at 7:20am. I woke up, but couldn’t pry myself out of bed. I wanted to be one of the “early birds” at the DMV and arrive by 8, but that wasn’t about to happen at this point. By 8am, I finally managed to tell off my pillow so it got mad at me and just stayed there, cold hearted and unwilling to keep me any longer.

I get into the car by about 7:50am, and figure, screw it, I’ve got until about 1pm, and that’s when they close. Temperatures dropped in half over night, but I’m already not feeling good, so this isn’t going to be any more fun than it would be if it were still 65 degrees out. By 8:30am, I arrive at the DMV, and at the same time the planets must have aligned.

I pull into the seemingly filled parking lot to see at least three other cars doing laps like sharks that smell blood, yet somehow I decide I would go to the closest row (normally the worst idea), and there it is, a silver Passat backing out. Today might not be so bad.

After situating the HEMIWagon in the spot (backing in, of course for a speedy getaway), I do the walk of shame to wait in line in the bitter cold to be allowed inside. Maybe this is the single most frustrating part of the DMV, that you can’t even wait indoors. Maybe they should just expand their “lobby” area to be protected from the wind, cold and rain. Maybe just then, less people will be angry while waiting for their paperwork to be checked (let’s not even talk about the line for processing yet).

The alignment of the planets must have gotten stuck, because I just filled out the forms I got in the mail for registration renewal to try and make it fast, but I’m standing in line for barely a couple of minutes when the DMV Doorman yells out for people only handling titles and registration make a new line and immediately head inside after he double checks. Sweet. I’m in, and I’m not bitter cold yet.

Zootopia’s animated records office, often confused for the real life DMV.

I get in line, and in an unnaturally expedient manner, my paperwork gets checked, they write down my payment method, phone number, and point me towards a fast moving line (alright, fast moving for the DMV). Within about 10 minutes (I wasn’t keeping track because it was actually significantly quicker than anticipated), I was at the counter myself, greeted by a very kind gentleman that knew what he was doing and hammered things out. A swipe of the plastic, $118, and barely five minutes later, I was on my way.

As I walked out the door, I was just left thinking, I got lucky this far, but I haven’t had any particularly unpleasant experiences at the DMV before either. The forms have always been filled out by the time I got there, and I make sure my ID and payment are prepared. It certainly doesn’t need to be complicated, and I can understand that sometimes new people get thrown into the fire, but maybe a lot of people just overreact about the DMV and how long it takes. Maybe going during peak hours is a bad idea?

Excuse me, yes, well, you see the OBD-II port is above your right knee. Just reach under there, yeah, there’s a plastic cover you flip down. Maybe get under and look? It’s there, please don’t put the sniffer in the tailpipe, just plug in the OBD-II, there are no codes being thrown, scouts honor.

Every time I’ve taken the SL600 Sport through inspection, I end up having a short conversation with someone about cars, as soon as I explain to the inspector where to find the OBD-II port under the dashboard.

What are your best and worst DMV experiences?

Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras > JGrabowMSt 03/19/2016 at 10:09

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I think the worst experience I ever had was when I was going to get my license. Before I left my house that morning I triple checked the website to make sure I had all the ID points and set off. I arrived, waited 30 minutes in a line outside to even get in to the front desk, waited another 30 before i could get in another line for licenses. I walked up to the woman doing it and she took my paperwork, put it on the desk, then was quickly called away for a second to help out someone else. She came back and told me “you are 1 point off for your ID points.” I was dumb founded as I was sure I had everything but the woman wouldn’t double check and told me to get out of line. I had to go back home, somehow find another thing that counted as a point of ID (found a SS card), then frantically make it back in time. I got back to the DMV, waited another HOUR before i got back to the woman who sent me away, she had a smile on her face and the first thing she said was “you left this here by accident” and handed me my bank statement. She then counted all the ID points and guess what, I had 7 points, 1 more than needed. I’m pretty sure steam came out of my head...

P.S fuck the Wayne DMV

JGrabowMSt > Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras 03/19/2016 at 10:52

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When I got the HEMIWagon, we went to the Lodi DMV. There was a line (weekday, beginning of the summer, middle of the afternoon), but never had any trouble with the ID points. I always made sure to have way more than necessary to avoid multiple trips, but also because I didn’t want to hear “we can’t accept this.”

I’m thinking of renewing my license by mail just so I don’t have to worry about it. That’s the one thing I didn’t grab on my way out, the license renewal form. I like to have everything filled out prior to arriving. Nothing worse than having to share a gradeschool sized desk with 9 other adults who just want to get back to doing adult things instead of filling out forms at the DMV.

Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras > JGrabowMSt 03/19/2016 at 10:57

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Yeah I renewed mine via mail.

xsnowpig > JGrabowMSt 03/19/2016 at 11:35

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just last week went to my local Colorado county clerk for title transfer to my name and plates. here plates and titles are at the county office and didn’t look anything like SouthPark. Midweek afternoon, NO line, walked out with new plates and new title in my name in under 10 minutes.

now driver’s license renewal here is another story- run by the state and budget cutbacks years ago closed a shit-ton of branches so you are screwed if you can’t renew online.

shop-teacher > JGrabowMSt 03/19/2016 at 12:21

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Our local DMV branch is actually quite well run, and staffed by very nice and competent people. I have been to others where this was not the case. It all comes down to management.

Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. > JGrabowMSt 03/19/2016 at 13:31

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If your DMV allows it, make an appointment. I had a 2:30 appointment, checked in at 2:15, and was out the door by 2:25 having taken care of both license and registration issues. This level of service cannot be beat.

JGrabowMSt > Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. 03/19/2016 at 13:51

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I know for certain my local DMV doesnt offer appointments. Good tip for anyone trying to expedite things during the workday!

Danger Ranger XLT > JGrabowMSt 03/21/2016 at 11:08

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Never really had a problem with my local DMV. It seems well run and the employees have known what they’re doing during my visits. The worst I’ve encountered is a 20-30 minute wait, during which I simply... Wait. Though having competent employees at the end of the wait helps my opinion of the DMV.

Urambo Tauro > JGrabowMSt 03/21/2016 at 11:10

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I had a similar experience just a few months ago.

I walked into the Secretary of State, and my ticket number was about a dozen away from being called. So I made myself comfortable, expecting to wait 15 minutes or so. But they were in top form, calling numbers a few times per minute . I probably waited a grand total of five minutes. Amazing.

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > JGrabowMSt 03/21/2016 at 11:14

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I just made an appointment.

dogisbadob > JGrabowMSt 03/21/2016 at 11:14

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You can do captions now?

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > JGrabowMSt 03/21/2016 at 11:16

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I always go to the DMV in Flemington NJ, usually out within an hour and that includes inspection. They’re all pretty friendly as well.

JGrabowMSt > dogisbadob 03/21/2016 at 11:27

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Like magic.

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > JGrabowMSt 03/21/2016 at 11:44

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DMV in Carson City Nevada, in and out in 20 minutes with no appointment to register two cars and get a new drivers license. Worst? Registering an out of state car in Califorina, and having to pay a $250 smog impact fee, even though car passed california emissions. 2 years later got a check from the State for $306, because what they did was illegal and they got sued.

JGrabowMSt > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 03/21/2016 at 11:44

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Stick it to the man!

450X_FTW > JGrabowMSt 03/21/2016 at 11:45

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If you want some entertainment, go to a ghetto DMV (secretary of state for me) they at least provide plenty of people watching while you wait. Last time it was in Pontiac, MI. Guy walked in said loudly enough that everyone could hear him “where the line at to get my tabs?” Without missing a beat the lady behind the counter replied “the line you need will be out that damn door if you keep up that yappin”.

The Ghost of Oppo > JGrabowMSt 03/21/2016 at 12:07

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Pennsylvania DMVs are always a quick process. The only things DMVs handle are permit tests, license tests, and drivers license renewals. Registration, title transfers, and what are handled by independent notaries like AAA.

But when I lived in Virginia, going to the DMV hell! There would already be 25 people in line 15 minutes before the doors opened in the morning.

BKosher84 > JGrabowMSt 03/21/2016 at 12:23

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jariten1781 > JGrabowMSt 03/21/2016 at 12:26

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Don’t know where you’re at, but I was chatting with one of the employees here in VA last time I went to the DMV. Apparently the reason they hold the lines outside the door here is that they have service time metrics they are required to meet and the clock starts once people cross the threshold. So, even though 3/4s of the chairs inside were empty there was a 45 minute line outside the door...the gate keeper in the door watches the metrics and allows people in via trickle to keep their ‘service time’ average below XX mins (I think it was 15). Then, even with that active management, they’ll stray high on wait time and send a guy out to seek the customers with very short transactions then have them cut the line to pull the metric back down.

So weird...I don't know who the authority is that established the metrics but they obviously don't care that they're being gamed.

StudyStudyStudy > JGrabowMSt 03/21/2016 at 16:44

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I work a couple blocks from the DMV. I usually process online and pick it up in person. Walk in and after about a minute, someone usually asks about online orders, and I’m out in front and gone in about 5 mins.

The most memorable was when I went to register my Z. The lady at the counter knew the previous owner and told me send him her greetings if I ever saw him again. Sped me right through my paper work, didn’t hassle me at all about the tax/purchase price/milage as those can always be a trouble point. Very pleasant experience.